Time to think!

And the year is coming to an end. I had to surface at least once before another year buries us under it. So, 2015 is soon going to be ‘last year’…..Wait!….. Wasn’t it ‘next year’ just a while back? I mean I had so much planned for it. I did partly well but still so many things are still pending! Norway, Iceland, a back pack South America trip, Antartica, Kerala, Leh, rafting…..a romantic film, a play…US trip with parents, at least 50 books….guitar, piano….cycling trip to……and the more I think the longer the list grows. And most of these ‘to do’ things keep featuring every year. Dammit! I wonder where does the time go? Not that I don’t live my dreams..I do. But still so many unfinished desires. It is the same thing year after year. Every year in the beginning I feel this year I will take out time and I will get done with this list and make a new one by the end of the year. By the time the end arrives I realise that time just evaporated. Vanished in front of my eyes. Did I realise it? Well honestly, there were times when I just saw it evaporate. And what was I doing then? Busy with a whole lot of things and at times I was busy dreaming of all the things that I want to achieve while time was waiting for me to live all those dreams. So my free time was occupied in dreaming about things I will do when I have free time.

Talking about free time….does it even exist? It is just time that exists. We make free time, busy time or no time out of it. But I didn’t do anything about it. I know that I am responsible for whatever happened or did not happen this year. There was always enough time when I wanted to do something. And there was no time when I did not want to put the effort to do something. Time doesn’t really fly past us as we think sometimes. We actually see it taking off, fly past us and then vanish into oblivion. We are just spectators at times. It’s absolutely fine I guess as long as we don’t complain. But people like me who crib in their head need to know that time doesn’t decide what we are to do. We decide what we have to do of our time. How beautiful time is…. Every one wants more 🙂 You never have enough of it yet you feel their is a lot of it…’I wish I had time’..’I wish I had more time’…. But isn’t this the time we wish we had more? To keep preparing for an event you dream to participate in will be more hurtful if you don’t participate ever. And I find myself in that category sometimes…when I think I have no time but i know I have enough of it.

Life is hidden in the tiniest moments which we keep ignoring because we think they are always there. All those small little dreams keep getting pushed because there are those bigger ones we are always chasing. And in the process those smaller ones which have the potential of giving bigger joys keep waiting to be attended. They scream at us for attention in the beginning. And by the time we reach them they have mostly lost the vigour and the enthusiasm to live.

So…no resolutions. A promise to myself that before the next year becomes the last year I will tick off almost the entire ‘to do’ list 🙂

Thanks to all of you for making yet another year so beautiful with your presence. Wishing happiness and smiles in plenty for 2016.


And the journey continues!

Hi all,

So… the journey continues. The one inside and the one outside. One more year passes by and I look at life even more passionately! One glance at the years gone by and its a jolt! When did all that happen? Where was I when all this was happening? And if it happened then how did it happen so fast? They say time flies but I never realised it would imply on me too. But one look at the years to come by and its wow! So much to look forward to. So much to achieve, so much to do, so much to give! The list gets longer and longer every year instead of getting shorter. I guess it has to do with the fact that as we spend more number of years on earth, the number of years left on earth gets lesser :). Hence, the rush and the calm.

Life for me has always been the best when I live in the present which by the way I do very often. No looking behind or looking forward. To heck with all the insecurities. They never live in the present. So why lug them. For me, one of the best years are the first and the second year of college. Career is always a year or two away and the gruelling board exams left behind. Top priorities for me were ..how to impress this girl n how to charm that girl!! Rest all came second. What life!…Aah!! What a blissful state. Only if this state of bliss could last forever. Sadly, it doesn’t. Because there is always the next stage waiting to be overcome. So..the idea is to make every stage once in a while like that of the college years (the priorities change though). Baggage free.

Wherever I reach, whenever I end I just hope that for that fraction of second before i shut my eyes and look back I should feel…’I lived man! And how!!!’

Anyway, here I am, at one of the many stages of life. Reminiscing the years left behind and making a ‘yet to do’ list of the years which look in sight. And when I reminisce, I bump into you from whichever lane I try to enter from. And that is because you made my last 13 years so engaging and beautiful that these are precisely those years which flew by! You made me responsible, you made me sincere and you made me a better human. I say this because the kind of love I have got all these years did fashion me as a person. I came alone to Mumbai but now I am alone no more. Besides my family and friends I have all of you who give me strength, support and motivation. I shall always be indebted to all of you for giving me so much love selflessly and endlessly.

I know that so many of you put in humongous effort to make my day special. That you remember my birthday is a very special feeling in itself. But so many of you go those many extra miles to knock and drop your love at my door. I am sure you know that it is difficult to describe in words how I feel. I value your efforts from the bottom of my heart. This year I know I must have disappointed a lot of you as I am not in Mumbai so can’t interact with you on my birthday. But this is something I had planned long back. This year I wanted to feel very ordinary on my birthday. Just roam around on the streets with my backpack, incognito, travel in buses, trains etc, meet people, buy sandwiches from the street corners, make friends from different parts of the world and communicate through the language of love..the only universal language that binds! And here I am. In Europe doing exactly what I had dreamt of. Moving from one place to the other with no baggage ..no insecurity 🙂 I know I have been a little selfish but I know you will understand. I hope you do.

So..thanks once again for all your love. Will see you soon!

Wait! It’s not the end! It’s yet another new beginning!

Hi all(more for the Reporters fans)

And the final day for ‘Reporters’ shoot is tomorrow. Didn’t think these six months of togetherness will become a habit. People don’t get habituated to each other for years and here we are! Feel like a big group in six months. Power of love! Power of bonding! Even though i knew from the beginning that it will end precisely around 120 episodes, yet I can feel the lump when it is getting over. And a lot of it has to do with the love you gave. The truth is that all those who watched it, appreciated it, criticised it, discussed it or lived it have in many ways contributed to the journey of Reporters. We were sailing because you were giving us the wind. We were charged all throughout because you were giving us the energy.

I thank each one of you for being there. It is a huge strength you give by just ‘being there’. I mean it means a lot to be just there. And you were not just there, you were there and roaring. A special thanks to all those who went an extra mile to review the episodes on a daily basis. Discuss it and send your feedback. It isn’t easy to keep up with the pace. But some of you did! Thanks for giving that extra time from you personal time(not meant for us). Your effort was not just noticed it was deeply valued. Your mails, gifts, cards etc will be treasured. You know the show in India did not rate high on rating meter but rated very high on the response meter 🙂 And it will rate very high in my memory meter  because it introduced me to a whole lot of new people. And lovely people 🙂 People from far and wide who sent me their love and blessings selflessly.

Words are never enough to express gratitude which is overwhelming. But words are all i have to do the needful too. So a BIG THANKS once again. I shall see you all soon, as I told Hiya(hope that’s her name only), here, there, somewhere…. soon. Till then..keep smiling! Aur….jaaney sey pehley ..’Love you all!’ This one may end soon but if it does’nt end how does the new begin?’




This was written a few days back but posting it now.

So at an altitude of 37000 feet here I am updating my blog after a very long time. And look who inspired me and got me thinking! It is none other than the growing power of the fairer sex. Not that we aren’t aware of it. But it hits you more when you take a nearly two hour flight to Bhubhaneshwar and your A 320 jumbo is powered by an all women/only women crew including the pilot and the co pilot. The only male in the crew is the recorded voice which asks you to wear your seat belts etc and he too was allowed to speak at the discretion of the crew. And let me add that besides making the flight look pretty and beautiful they commanded respect and how by their sheer professionalism!

So while the world was talking about women empowerment n all, women grabbed the scene and said hello…here we are! While you guys were ‘just talking’ we were working. While you guys were ‘just hoping’ for the change we brought the change. And much before you could expect it, here we are….calling the shots everywhere. Politics, corporate world, bureaucracy, science, sports, films, television and now we have women driving buses, trains flying aircrafts and the list goes endless. And the immediate casualty was the poor ‘once existed now dying’ male dominance, which still exists but happily mostly in the psyche.

This change which has taken centuries suddenly looks looks rapid now. Maybe because we are witnessing it. I don’t think this change happened because the society is evolving. The society evolves only when balance shifts more towards those who defy than those who succumb. And what is society in the first place? Society is a collective thought of some non existing individuals who could not achieve more than what was thrown at them by life (my opinion). Those who sit and think that change is a by product of time are the ones who constitute the society. And because they have no claim to fame they hate anyone claiming fame. Since achievers are always outnumbered by losers is why the society gained strength. But today, as the number of girls and women achievers is growing by the day the balance is tilting more towards the achievers/one who defy and the society has no choice but to accept the change.

All said and done it is great to live in this time. Yes, the change needs to percolate down to the smaller cities where the regressive mind sets are bigger. But I see those mind sets fragmenting too at an appreciable pace. It is regressive not because the people are not progressive. It is regressive because that is a way of life for them. It is regressive for us but not for them. Only when they are exposed to a better way of life will they buy the change. There are thousands who have brought this change in their surroundings. My father despite being an army guy had a certain way of looking at life. Initially I used to cringe at certain thoughts of his and fight with all my vocal strength. I am the rebel of the house but I think I took it a bit too seriously. But I realised pretty soon that he will change only if he enjoys the change. Otherwise he will just accommodate. And I wanted him to change and not accommodate because I genuinely felt that he would enjoy life more. My convictions were strong so I found a way. I started giving him exposure to the world I wanted him to live in. The pace was gradual but the change in him – rapid. He wanted to change because he was ENJOYING the change. Today, he is enjoying is why he changed. And I am just enjoying the change 🙂 That is how it functions I guess. Those who don’t change are not rigid. We probably fail to expose them to the goodness of the change we advocate. The onus lies on the one who feels the need for it. So all those who wish to sell that little change will have to lure the buyer into it.

And so I guess I began drifting. Before I drift further let me do the best part. Send love n hugs to all you beautiful girls/women who also made me revisit this dormant blog. I urge all those who care to read this to take none of my opinion seriously. I have mine and you have yours. If they meet great! If not then too great! We all are entitled to ours :).

Love, smiles and happiness to all.



Wonder how to start this piece. The day is over and I am still reeling under the effect of all that you do. The gifts have all been opened, cards read and space made in the house to treasure all this. I know the kind of effort that goes in to make this day special for me. I am also aware that a lot of you plan so much in advance, put loads of effort and wait for the day. But it becomes humanly not possible to acknowledge and appreciate every single effort. So all those who haven’t received an acknowledgment from my end about your efforts, please consider this the same. I thank all of you for doing it so selflessly and so beautifully.

The he debt is going up and I am increasingly getting fidgety to bring it down. Getting rid of it will not be possible but I will feel deserving of it at least.


love, smiles and best wishes


John Owen : Take a Bow

Some films do see the light of the day even if it is just for a day or one screening. The Goa Run(name of the film in the festival) or ‘Peter Gaya Kaam Sey'(in Hindi) will have its only screening in the world at the prestigious Raindance Film Festival of London on 27th September 2014 at 1 pm. The film which has a huge backstory must be feeling extremely proud as it is being showcased at one of the best movie theatre in the world at the Lester Square, London.

Peter Gaya Kaam Sey/The Goa Run is the second film that I had shot for after Aamir but it was not released for reasons best known to the producers. This is one film which consumed a lot from a lot of us but gave a lot of joy to us as well while shooting mostly owing to the team and the camaraderie. We had a team of more than 70 people working on it. The whole team had put in a lot of hard work but one guy who gave almost everything to it is John Owen, the director of the film. Be it pre production, shooting or post production John was giving every bit of him to the film. Little did he know or imagine that his passion and devotion is being spent on something which won’t yield anything. By the time he was through with the film I guess the producers were also through with the film. They had apparently buried the film much before John was done with it. As time passed all those associated with the film, including me, started drifting away emotionally and physically as the producers had no intent of releasing it. But one person who refused to part with his hard work was John. The captain of the ship was the only one left on the ship when all others had abandoned the ship. He refused to accept his fate which didn’t have his handwriting on it and held on steadfastly to his belief in the film. They say ‘success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm’ and John has proved it. For me he is one of the biggest success stories.

A Brit by descent, John had made this film in Hindi. John loves Goa and he knows Goa better than some Goans do. He had initially decided to make this film in English because that is the only language he knows. But when he took his story to UTV, they decided to make this film in Hindi. John took the challenge even though he knew that it will not be a cakewalk for him. He had to sit with translators day in day out monitoring every line, every emotion and ensuring that the story which he had written in English doesn’t get lost in translation. Drafts after drafts were written and John spent almost a year to reach his shooting script. The gruelling 55 day shoot in Goa must have taken off many years from John’s life as he had to pay attention to the smallest detail as he did not understand the language. Shooting through the day, watching his footage in the night before sleeping and planning the next days shoot was his routine every single day for nearly 55 days. His homework was so immense that not even for a moment we actors thought we are working with a guy who doesn’t understand the language and yet he is making a Hindi feature film. He knew exactly what he wanted even though he did not understand what we were speaking. He had a very hard working team who assisted him with fierce loyalty – a team who would not compromise till they would deliver what their boss expected.

The post production went on for almost two years with John working meticulously on every department in the post. He had some very sound professionals working for him who were also stretching themselves for the undying commitment and passion of John. I know that without them John would have found it very difficult to finish the film. But somewhere towards the end John began to realise that the producers are shelving the film. John knocked from door to door of the concerned people to request them to give the film it’s due but their was no response from inside. It gets very difficult to get decisions reversed in a big corporate. The doors were shutting on John and the delay was taking its toll. Somewhere at this stage I too drifted away from the film and lost touch with John. I know a lot happened in John’s life from here on but I am not going to talk about what he had lost personally, financially or mentally in these four years. On the contrary I want to muster support for him by talking about his self belief, steadfastness and resolve.

Last I heard from John himself was about a few months back when he shared the delightful news about ‘Peter Gaya Kaam Sey’ being selected by the Raindance guys for an exclusive screening. And the excitement in his voice had some pride to it as well. The film was selected by the jury which means it made it on its own merit. I was stunned for a moment as I had imagined by now John must have accepted his fate and come to terms with it. But wait! I was wrong!! John has not called it quits yet and the game is on till you don’t quit! So it was back to this Brit guy with a ‘never say die attitude’ and as energetic as ever. Things had changed but not the challenges for John. He had this arduous task ahead of him to request and convince Disney now to allow him just one screening. Why Disney is because the mega corporate had taken over UTV a few years back and Peter Gaya Kaam Sey was a Disney property now. So John started knocking on the doors of the new corporate again but this time to just give him one screening. This one screening was very important for John as it is more for his ailing mom – Thelma, than for the world. All these years when John was fighting to stay afloat it was Thelma who was infusing strength in him. Like a textbook mom, Thelma stood behind her son like a rock. After repeated requests by both John and his mom to the who’s who in Disney John was granted one screening. Disney agreed to pull out the film from the closet it had locked many years back and allow John to have one screening.

I am the happiest after John and Thelma(John’s rock star mom) about this screening even if this is, in the present scenario, the only screening this film would ever get. For me it is John Owen’s victory and the saga will get over, if it gets over, with a bow. I am hoping that the film runs to a packed house and get a farewell it deserves. This could be the only case where a film gets its premiere and farewell in one screening! So those in UK please don’t miss the super exclusive screening of ‘The Goa Run’ aka ‘Peter Gaya Kaam Sey’ at the Raindance Film Festival on 27th September 2014 at 1 pm.


Confusion? Let me clear it!


Hi everyone,
This is to clear any kind of confusion if it is still prevailing. Rahul Bharti is a part of my team who will be handling a few things on the PR front for a few months. It becomes extremely difficult to handle a lot of fronts individually and the requests keep piling up unattended and i don’t feel very good about it. Rahul has been brought in to streamline my interviews and to help all those who think that the information coming from my end is not sufficient. He is not operating my twitter account although he did tweet from my account for a day when i was not here. But as i realised that it may lead to confusion i have assigned him the job of creating a facebook page to meet the constant demands of pictures, news etc. Twitter will be handled and operated by me solely. No one will have access to my twitter account, mails, blog etc.
I apologize if i created any confusion but at times you buck under the pressure. The pressure here for me were the routine requests for updates on my films, pictures, news, etc. I am generally on the move so it becomes very difficult to satisfy every individual’s query. Anyway, now that it is sorted i hope it will clear all the doubts runing in your head.
Keep smiling


Life is Beautiful

Hi everyone,

Time for a new blog. Actually – about time. So  while i am looking forward to 2014 I am also somewhere reflecting on the past. What a journey it has been till now! And i feel all those who have followed my career should know how I feel about it.

About ten years back when my first daily soap had hit the screens I had hoped that I am accepted and people overlook my shortcomings. Since I was not a trained actor I was learning as I was working. I was not sure whether whatever I was doing was good or not. I was going by my conviction and by my heart. I was not even worrying about rejection as I was just focussed on getting it right. And the day I was told that my first daily soap would be aired at 11 pm I thought my future was doomed. Who would wake up till 11 in the night to watch us ? I started thinking of back up plans, all worried and nervous, as I could see a long road ahead full of struggle. Thought that I will have to start all over again. Finally, the telecast day arrived and the show aired at 11. It took me a week to know that I was not rejected 🙂

The world called it a success – I took it as responsibility. I knew my journey had just begun. The challenge doesn’t lie in getting on the road. It lies in travelling that road. Today when I look back I realise that most of the fears that were ever a part of me at some point or the other were either induced by all those who never walked on the unbeaten path or I generated them myself each time I looked everywhere but inwards. Each time I worked on a borrowed mind, which has not been very often till now, I regretted. Each time I went with my gut, I was happy, whatever the outcome. I kept experimenting with the norms set by the conventional thinkers and kept getting a different outcome. Those outcomes gave me a new perspective and a new taste. A taste which may not have been palatable every time but it was definitely satiating in the end. Today I feel that I discovered myself a lot in the last 10 years and while the discovery is still on I am at least at peace with myself..

I also experienced the unparalleled high and thrill, when you discover something new from your own life. Left Right Left, my second daily soap was on a smaller channel. I did not know whether it will work or not but I still wanted to do it. A lot was at stake. Time Bomb did not work and I was facing the threat of being labelled ‘one serial wonder’. But at times, conviction is stronger than calculation. The success of LRL not just gave my self belief an adrenalin shot, it also spoilt me. I became hungry to grow as an actor. I started hating the word ‘safe zone’. I started looking for the ‘unchartered zone’. I wanted to break myths, break rules and go with my instincts. Aamir, Shaitan, Soundtrack and Table No 21 were all the result of that. Even Sach Ka Saamna was a challenge as it was immediately after Aamir. People thought I should not go back to television after Aamir but my conviction won once again. It would be honest to say that the same conviction has failed me too on some occasions but it never failed me enough to blame it on anyone but myself. The agony was less.

So, here I am struggling to better myself with each passing day. I realised that each time you win, you don’t defeat others – you actually better yourself. You only defeat your insecurity, your weakness. And each time you lose you just lose the match and not the game.

All along, there were good moments, super good moments and and some ‘not so good moments’. Some moments which seemed may never pass also passed. Today when I look back or look ahead I know life is all about moments. Some well spent, some well invested and some just wasted. And life for everyone is a sum total of all these moments. I feel sad for all those who think they are the chosen ones for all the unfortunate things in the world. If one introspects, one realises that it is we who choose the path and inflict pain on ourselves rather than life choosing us to be the unfortunate ones. I realised this pretty early in my life and career. Whatever happens – good bad or ugly, i am responsible for it.

A lot of you wonder as to why don’t I do a lot of projects. Its not that I am choosy. At times I dont find anything worthwhile to sign. At times a few projects I signed did not materialise and a few did not shape up as promised and hence the absence. But it is a part and parcel of every industry. I am aware of your expectations and how you wish for so many things. ‘This year will be better than the last year in term of my appearances.

Year after year when I look back I feel it boils down to just one question – did I enjoy the journey? Whenever the answer is in negative I look inwards and ensure it won’t be the same next year.

So keep smiling and and keep rocking as you always do. We have to do a lot this year. 2014 will change a lot for us because the change will be brought by us! Be aware and stay informed!

Lots of love and best wishes


The picture you see on top was taken by me during one of my Leh trips 🙂

Back after a break

Hi,  If you are still here then a big Hi. And if you are actually here then please accept my staple – apologies! I don’t even believe that promises are meant to be broken but I still end up breaking mine. I don’t enjoy it but I still end up repeating it. I don’t ever take you for granted but I still expect that you will understand 🙂 And I know you will  because you all are such lovely and beautiful people. You have been around for so many years not because I am good  but because you have a heart which is very giving.  To start with let me update you about my work. I am presently shooting for Samrat &co and enjoying every bit of it. It’s a great team and I am hoping that we gift you a wonderful entertainer next year. FEVER may just be my next release. It’s currently under post production. Its a crazy film and I am looking forward to it’s release. Also, let me tell you that what I am trying to achieve in this industry is not easy. But what’s the fun if everything comes easy. Challenges make the quest exciting. It’s a request that please don’t follow any news that comes out about me till I don’t verify it. Like any other industry we also have a lot of announcements, unfinished products and half baked projects. I respect the fact that you are concerned about me hence you feel bad about the projects which are announced or spoken about in media or on social networking platforms. But being an actor I know that every actor, producer or director is always prepared for such unfortunate projects. Even if I want I can’t escape it. SO! PLEASE DONT PIN YOUR HOPES ON ANY PROJECT TILL I DONT TALK ABOUT IT.     Moving on, so much has happened off late in our country. I have been feeling ashamed of being a helpless Indian and not a strong Indian. An Indian who just sits at home and expresses disgust on reading the state of his country but does nothing to make things better. ‘I can’t do anything’  or ‘ what can i do?’ is the standard reply. So rapes happen around us, extortion happens around us, local netas bully us, cops scare us, administration walks on us but we can’t do anything.  Have you ever thought that why do we call ourselves Indians ? Most of us call ourselves Indians because we were born here. More than that India plays no role in our lives. It’s left on others to run the country where we live or reside. Why can’t WE instigate a change which we keep wishing for? Why can’t it be ‘us’ and not ‘somebody else’ who brings in that change. Why can’t we demand a better India which we rightfully deserve. I think enough blame games have happened. The day we start accepting that any ‘sorry state of affairs’ around us is because We are laid back and not because the administration is corrupt/inefficient, a change will come. A nation is known by the people, not by the administration. If we think we deserve better life, we better start participating. If their is corruption it is because we allow it. If their is lawlessness it is because we allow it. If their is no leadership it is because we choose it. And we are anything but helpless. We can be ignorant, callous, scared, nonchalant, lazy, indifferent etc but we are surely not helpless.  If we can’t hold the reigns, we can surely pull them.   I am writing this more to motivate myself to start contributing than to influence you. I am not looking for support in you because each one of us has to contribute individually. We all are busy and have commitments towards us and towards our near and dear ones. So we will have to individually think about how to contribute to a cause which directly affect us. The power of youth is spoken about a lot but seen rarely. It’s time to showcase this power. And for that to happen we will have to contribute individually.   I also wanted to mention that I have recently joined the Twitter community. My Twitter I’d is RK1610IsMe. I know I am not able to respond to every Tweet but I do go through all. Please don’t get disheartened or disappointed if I fail to respond to everyone of you. I am here to connect with your thoughts and share my life with you. Will try my best to regularly update you about my whereabouts and about my work.   As always, ending this blog with yet another assurance that I will try to be more regular here. You be good, be positive and enjoy your life. Before I end let me wish Farheen a very speedy recovery. Nobody can help you better than you can.   Keep smiling  Rajeev

I am absolutely fine

For all those who are concerned about me let me lay all fears to rest. I am absolutely fine – just a sprained knee and elbow. But yes, the camera attendant was badly injured. Feeling terrible for him. Thankfully there will be no permanent damage to him. He should be up and walking in a months time. Even the cameraman in the jeep is safe and sound – just a sprained rib.

Such mishaps rarely happen but when they do you can’t blame anyone. All you can do is learn something from it and be extra careful in future. And I promise I will be.

Thanks for all your love and concern.

Lots of love
Keep smiling

Life is beautiful!